The Life Of John David Stutts

This is how the mind of a crazy person works -- sometimes, you'll see something and it gets stuck in your head. For example, a week or two back, I saw yet another commercial for NBC's craptastic "Celebrity Apprentice." That commercial, like a bunch of other insignificant and pointless things I see, lodged itself right in my frontal lobe and kept playing on repeat. As a crazy person, whenever I have an idle moment, I'll go back to thinking about said insignificant and pointless thing until either (a) I slam my head against something repeatedly, or (b) I finally obsess about it long enough that it burns its way out of my head (Note: This can take years. I'm still angry about an Oldsmobile commercial I saw in 1987).

What I'm currently obsessing about, though, is the fact that NBC and the world at large are trying to convince us that Omerosa is a celbrity. It says so right in the title of the show -- "Celebrity Apprentice" -- yet what did she do to become a celebrity? She was on an earlier version of the exact same show. And why should we bother to grant her celebrity status, anyway? She has absolutely no redeeming qualities, as far as I can see.

Now, I'm not just picking on Omerosa here (though I could, as the way they present her every time she's mentioned sets my teeth on edge). We seem to make a lot of people into celebrities for absolutely no reason. Look at Paris Hilton (which should be easy, as I started off this particular rant with a picture of her) -- she's a skinny white chick who's not all that attractive and has the IQ of a four-year-old. She's a constant fuckup. Yet the public at large diefies her. Why? Because she's rich? Warren Buffet's richer. Because she's not hideous? I know tons of people who are more attractive.

If we're going to make ordinary people into celebrities, let's pick some more interesting ones, yeah? They can be attractive, I have zero problem with that. But let's pick somewhat intelligent people, ones with something rattling around in their heads other than baby teeth and last month's copy of Vogue. People with some redeeming qualities.

Oh, and a free cup of coffee and breakfast from the corporate restaurant to whoever correctly identifies the title of this post*. No fair Googling. I'll know.

*I assume no liability for the degradation of breakfast sandwiches in the mail, nor for spillage of coffee.